caveman status

Wow, its been quite awhile since Ive updated! Thats mostly because things have been pretty busy around here...but I promise--no slacking off on the health & fitness end of things!

I decided to go full paleo, if I havent mentioned that before and Im now going into my 4th week. Its been great...easier than I expected and I feel fantastic. In my second week, I had high hopes of finally breaking through my big barrier (a physical AND mental block) when, much to my surprise, I gained 2lbs in 3 days. It seemed impossible...I hadnt eaten 7000 calories in TOTAL, let alone 7000 calories more than what I burned. I was discouraged and quickly sought out the advice of friends and family...I knew I needed to DO something before I lapsed into weight loss-despair. My cousin suggested carb-cycling to kick start my metabolism, which means that I would alternate between low and high carb days (carbs = fruit). And being the behavior changers and scientists that we are, I thought...why not graph my progress with carb-cycling, go back to my old way of eating, and then try the carb-cycling again...to see the difference it makes? Pretty nerdy right? LOVE IT! Anyway...Im now into week 2 of the carb-cycling and all seems to be going as planned...meaning, my weight is going down. Of course, its not anywhere as quickly as I would like...but I have to remind myself that the Biggest Loser pace of weight loss isnt realistic. Starting next week, I'll go back to my old plan and two weeks after that: carb-cycling again. After that? THAILAND! I will be praying for strength...your prayers would also be appreciated ;)

I also want to share another source of inspiration, deriving from (surprise!): The Biggest Loser. Season 11 winner and runner-up siblings Olivia and Hannah have a website where they talk about their journeys and offer words of wisdom and bits of advice. A couple of their entries have really resonated with me and my current struggles, so I thought it was only fair to pass it on :)

Their website is : myfitspiration.com

lunch time, hunter-gatherer style

Ive been sadly neglecting my lunch menu pictures...but never fear! they have arrived! Im out to prove that paleo doesnt mean pale! or pail ;) haha

Last week's summery salad:

And this week's chicken tacos ;)

I am now into my second (of forever) weeks on my paleo lifestyle and Im loving it :) I dont want for anything...and there are replacements for whatever i could need...even chocolate cake! It feels good and I can see a major difference in the way that I perform. Happy Eating, y'all!

...

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

yum!

So, this is it! the final few days before the big weigh-in. I usually eat a big salad for lunch, with homemade balsamic dressing (equal parts EVOO and balsamic vinegar...or more vinegar if you choose lol...and I do). And even though EVOO is good for you, in limited doses...its high in calories. To switch things up, and use a slightly healthier option, this week Im doing salsa instead! its yummy and salsa has virtually no calories :) Plus, tomatoes are amazing for you and one of the few foods that actually gets better for you the longer its cooked. So, here are some meal pics of my breakfast and lunch this week...

Breakfast...

toasted english muffin with 2 eggs, ham, tomatoes...and a wedge of canteope...yum! 


and Lunch...

haha, the devolution of my salad...which includes black beans (dont tell my paleo friends!), corn, red onion, chicken breast and SALSA!

the final stretch

Awhile back, I set a goal for myself, to be reached by July 1st. Well...that happens to be next week and I am about 4 lbs away from reaching it. I think I can do it...or at least come very close. So my plan is to hit the gym everyday and eat as healthy as I can. I moved my cheat day from Saturday to yesterday ;) and Im not going to weigh in this weekend. Eeek! This goal has been so long in the making that not only can I not believe the deadline is here, but that Im actually close to meeting it!

ghosts of fat past

So.

I found a picture of myself yesterday. From approximately 3 weeks before I started this weight loss journey...and I can barely process what I see. It feels like a punch in the stomach...I want to cry and laugh and scream all at the same time...Im embarrassed of what I looked like, and ashamed not only that I let myself get like that, but that I didnt realize how bad it was. The picture literally makes my blood run cold...I want to stop looking at it, but a part of me cant. The scariest thing is that when I see pictures of me now...its how I imagine i looked then. HOw could I have been so wrong? And am I really ready to share this picture?

This is the first time Ive hesitated to post something on here, even knowing how very limited my limited audience is. Ok, be brave. Here goes...

Ive never felt such self-loathing as I do when I look at these pictures. And the relief of not being that person anymore hasnt sunk in yet. I pray that it does soon...and to help me out, Im going to post a picture from this week ;)

goal-meeting machine!

I did it!! I stuck to my guns, didnt have any treat or snack foods all week...and I lost 5 lbs!! technically, I suppose it was 4.6, but close-e-freaking-nough! 

I actually had a dream last night that the night before I weighed in, I went crazy with food...and in the dream, I felt so disappointed and anxious about weighing in because I knew that it would make a big difference. It must have stayed with me, because I definitely did not want to get out of bed in the morning. But then, when I remembered that I had actually done well yesterday and that it was only a dream...i hopped out of bed in a hurry ;) 

I think I had forgotten what it was like to feel this way...so proud, not just of my accomplishment, but of the discipline it took to meet my goal. Its totally reinforcing, which means, text book-wise,  that my meeting-goals behavior should increase ;)